A Tribute to my Mom

Vilma Ann Kurilla April 20, 1931 to April 21, 2023.

Our dear, sweet mother (in law) passed away on April 21st. I want to share a tribute I read at her memorial which was at Crystal Lake, Pennsylvania on Mother’s Day weekend.

My mother was an eternal optimist, and that had a profound effect on me growing up. Even as she grew older and at the end of her life, she had a positive outlook. 

For example, I’ve  lived on the west coast for over 25 years. But in all that time, my relationship with her didn’t suffer – our time together was always quality time and special.  Our mother afforded all of us the freedom to live our lives as we wanted.  I couldn’t have made a life for myself so far away from my mom if it weren’t for my siblings, and especially my sister Jen, who took on the bulk of Mom’s care. I want to thank them for making that possible. 

It was easy to love our Mom, whether you were her daughter, a friend or an acquaintance. Mom’s friends where she lived after our dad passed away spoke about what a force of positivity she was as she sat in her chair by the fireplace on the main floor and spread good cheer and love to everyone who walked past.  In the elevators and in the halls she greeted everyone with a wink and a warm smile.

Her optimism and grace not only shone through in life but also in how she died.  I watched her transition from struggle to acceptance and then peace in her last days.  She hung in there through her birthday when she looked as radiant as a birthday cake with all 92 candles lit! She died right before dawn the next day.  It was profound.  Moments after she passed, and in the deep silence of the night, I heard a bird begin to sing a tune and then a chorus of birds followed in concert, as they do.  It was a sacred moment that for me reflected my mom’s soul. Here is a poem I read in her honor.

For The Bird Singing Before Dawn, by Kim Stafford

Some people presume to be hopeful when there is no evidence for hope, to be happy when there is no cause.  Let me say now, I am with them.

In deep darkness on a cold twig in a dangerous world, one first little fluff let out a peep, a warble, a song —and in a little while, behold:

The first glimmer comes, then a glow filters through the misty trees, then the bold sun rises, then everyone starts bustling about.

And that first crazy optimist, can we forgive her for thinking, dawn by dawn, “Hey, I made that happen! And oh, life is so fine.”

Now every morning at dawn I am comforted when the birds begin to sing their songs ushering in the morning.  I am reminded of my mom’s bright warm light and I feel her with me no matter where I am in the world.  Such a beautiful soul.

Thank you Mom for all that you taught me, especially how to love and be loved in such a crazy, mixed up world. Memories of you will always live inside my heart.

The sun rising over the sea